New Christian Documentary Tells How Gays Invaded AK Town, Made it Fabulous

November 28, 2008 by

Once upon a time the town of Eureka Springs was “known as a resort town for Christians.”  This was until a “a small group of homosexual activists” conquered the town in the name of gay-satan.  The town is now an al-queda style training camp for the secular gay fascist party’s transsexual SS.

The American Family Association has produced the film They’re Coming to Your Town documents how “family” activists are whining about speaking out about the new found fabulousness of their Jesus town.  The promise that the film is “an eye-opener to those who are not familiar with how homosexuals use the system to attain their goals.”  The system the “professional, militant homosexuals” are using is called democracy, Jesus hates the stuff.  They don’t call him the Prince of peace because you get to vote on it.

[Arkansas Times] via [Wonkette]

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Help Caption a Bible Scene!

November 28, 2008 by

caption-revlifeThe Christian blogging community Revelife is having a thread where you can help caption this scene from the bible.  Take the time to help contribute to the dialogue between the irreligious and Christians.  My caption: SAUSAGE FEST!

[Revelife]

Anne Heche’s Mom Wants to Love the Gay Out of People for Jesus

November 28, 2008 by

norainbowchurchAnne Heche’s mother, Dr. Nancy Heche, is an evangelical speaker who has built a career on talking about how to love gay people while hating their gayness (them).  She promises “a message of love, hope and respect for individuals and families dealing with same-sex attraction.”  She’s a bit more realistic than many of her peers saying “You and I aren’t going to wipe out homosexuality… We can wipe out the hate and the confusion and the anger.”

You might be thinking that’s a little odd.  On one hand she just said she wants love hope and respect, on the other she just said she wanted to wipe out homosexuality while admitting that she can’t. For most people love and respect usually mean that you don’t want to wipe out other people’s cultures and relationships.  For example I love and respect vegetarians, I don’t want to wipe them out.

This is how these gay loving evangelicals think of homosexuality:

“homosexuality is sort of like type 2 diabetes: Certain people may be more likely to develop the condition than others. Factors like an abusive parent or childhood teasing can make someone seek out sexual consolation in members of their same sex.”

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Gays Consume Mormon Film Dude Richard Raddon

November 28, 2008 by

gay-winApparently Richard Raddon, the ex-director of the Los Angeles Film Festival is a big creepy Mormon homophobe who donated $1,500 dollars to the anti-gay marriage Proposition 8 campaign in California. Apparently fags, other species of gay, and their godless straight allies harassed Raddon to the point of insanity and now he has quit his job:

Richard Raddon stepped down as director of the Los Angeles Film Festival following a barrage of calls and emails protesting against his support for Proposition 8, the controversial ballot measure that was passed in California on Nov 4.

Oh hai, we iz comin’ 4 ur bigots. GAY WINZ!

Fred Phelps’ God Hates the Whole World!

November 28, 2008 by

godz-wrath-fullFred Phelps of everyone’s favorite “God Hates Fags” Westboro Baptist church has a fun website that is part atlas and part god’s holy fury.  The fun animated map will help you find out why god hates a particular part of the earth.  Once there you can find out exactly what god’s so angry about and even what he’s doing to punish them heathens!

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Humanitarian Christians Almost Have It Right

November 28, 2008 by

missionarySure, around here we are Atheists, but more specifically, we are humanists. Our primary concerns are not which god (if any) someone worships but rather if a person is actually doing good in the world and helping their fellow human. Of course, it is not that simple; to be blunt, I find that the ardently religious often get the whole definition of doing “good” obviously and horrifyingly wrong – Fred Phelps and the Taliban are just a couple examples that spring to mind.

That being said, the Christian humanitarian organization World Vision seems to be getting it right, aside from the whole peddling their creepy zombie god thing that is. Recently they have done some excellent work on behalf of women in the Congo. While I am glad of their efforts, I am also torn.

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Bacon as an Alternative Form of Worship

November 28, 2008 by

People everywhere are reaching baconlightenment thanks to the spread of a new and greasy wonderful religion called Baconism.  While not as ancient as some other religions, Baconism has a singular advantage over other religions: bacon can clearly be observed unlike crazy voodoo men in the sky who watch you while you’re on the toilet bacon is a clearly observable phenomenon.

The Holy Church of Bacon, which bases its beliefs on the Holy Book of Bacon, is the latest in a wave of food-based religious movements sweeping the country.  While the belief that pork products fried heavily in grease can lead to salvation has been met with criticism by some, I am willing to give it a chance as long as they don’t come to my door with books smelling of old ham and fried baskets of goodness to harden my arteries.

[Bacon Today]

Happy Great Indian Genocide Day!

November 27, 2008 by
turbaconducken
The Turbaconducken

If you’re like me you have totally insane pilgrim/puritan ancestors who bravely conquered this land for Christ, saving it from the more or less peaceful savage natives, it’s your day!  Our founding father’s decided this would be a worthy day to give thanks (yes lots of people give it to god) for all the opportunities we took from other people have been blessed with have in this great land.  So be thankful, even in the midst of the dawning economic apocalypse you’re still better off than the thai orphan who made your clothes in a sweatshop.  So go hug somebody, get drunk with them and thank real people for the things they do that make your life better.

If you still hate everyone, have nothing to be thankful for, or are suffering from severe holiday depression put the pills away, set that gun down and try this bacon wrapped turducken recipe, the turbaconduken.  It won’t give you the instant gratification of putting your head in an oven but once you take this bird(s) out of the over you’ll be on the steady path to cholesterolific death.  Happy thanksgiving!

[Bacon Today]

Christians Hate Mormons and Their Vampires

November 27, 2008 by

twilightIt is widely known that many Christians don’t consider Mormons to be real Christians because Mormon-Indian-Jesus is a bit different from normal died on the cross Jesus.  Apparently this feud extends even to vampire movies.  In WORLD Magazine, which promises “today’s news, Christian views” they blast Twilight for young girls’ “unhealthy obsession” with the books and film.

The reviewer, Megan Basham, is not satisfied with the old-vampire and dopey-teen being abstinent; apparently they can’t have any fun at all:

“Christian readers have heaped praise on the Twilight series because its main characters maintain sexual abstinence. Never mind that, like most modern vampire stories, Twilight substitutes blood-drinking for sex. Therefore, to commend its young lovers for abstaining from intercourse is akin to commending a chocoholic for abstaining from brussels sprouts.”

Clearly this is a serious danger.  Tweens all over are no doubt being inspired RIGHT NOW to engage in dangerous, sort of slightly erotic blood drinking.  She goes on to complain that the happy couple’s relationship is nothing more than “scowling and lust.”  Remember that it’s blood-lust because they don’t have the sex, he EATS HER instead.

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Everyone Knows Ann Coulter’s Jaw is Broken, SHUT UP!

November 27, 2008 by

anne-coulterEveryone on the liberalleftrationaletc. blogosphere has been having a schadenfreude orgy over fascist spokesmodel Ann Coulter’s broken jaw and they need to knock it off.  News flash guys it’s the 21st freakin’ century she can still blog, JUST LIKE YOU!  So you’ve got no victory.  What’s next? Are you going to jerk it to her breaking her fingers?  Quit being petty about the right wing’s lanky clown-woman like children and do something adult, like hiding in your apartment and drinking the pain away because you’re alone this Thanksgiving, so alone…