Christians Hate Mormons and Their Vampires

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twilightIt is widely known that many Christians don’t consider Mormons to be real Christians because Mormon-Indian-Jesus is a bit different from normal died on the cross Jesus.  Apparently this feud extends even to vampire movies.  In WORLD Magazine, which promises “today’s news, Christian views” they blast Twilight for young girls’ “unhealthy obsession” with the books and film.

The reviewer, Megan Basham, is not satisfied with the old-vampire and dopey-teen being abstinent; apparently they can’t have any fun at all:

“Christian readers have heaped praise on the Twilight series because its main characters maintain sexual abstinence. Never mind that, like most modern vampire stories, Twilight substitutes blood-drinking for sex. Therefore, to commend its young lovers for abstaining from intercourse is akin to commending a chocoholic for abstaining from brussels sprouts.”

Clearly this is a serious danger.  Tweens all over are no doubt being inspired RIGHT NOW to engage in dangerous, sort of slightly erotic blood drinking.  She goes on to complain that the happy couple’s relationship is nothing more than “scowling and lust.”  Remember that it’s blood-lust because they don’t have the sex, he EATS HER instead.

All this sort of dodges what’s really wrong with this movie:  The vampires sparkle into the sun.  It’s no wonder little tween girls are obsessed with it.  Some sparkle star vampire rides into town on a my little pony no doubt with a care bear in tow ready to consume some shy girl’s blood and make her feel cool while he stays on first base.  It’s like the best of the crap from their childhood with some awkward grasping at faux-sexuality that stays in the comfort zone tossed in,  how could they resist?

Megan here however concludes that the girls love it because:

“Given how little true chivalry and romance teenage girls experience in our hooking-up, girls-gone-wild culture, it’s little wonder they have responded to Twilight so strongly.”

She’s right it’s not like there aren’t already a million movies a year bombarding young girls with happily ever after, romantic comedy, knight in shining armor, stories are there?  Oh?  There are?

You’ve got to wonder why Christians like Megan are so threatened by in Twilight.  It’s not really the relationship or the blood sucking, they’re beside the point.  It’s also not as if young girls aren’t offered enough opportunities to get sucked into more conventional romance movies and media.  What bothers them is that young girls aren’t satisfied with what their culture has to offer and that a huge number of teens and tweens are choosing to fantasize about getting gnawed on by twinkly the glitterific vampire rather than go see movies about getting married, settling down and popping out kids happily ever after.

Megan also complains that Twilight “presents a shallow, twisted picture of what real love looks like” can’t argue with her there.  Here’s a picture of what real love looks like:

civil-stupid

See, no vampires in that picture, just a couple of men who love each other.  Something tells me those men would scare Megan and her ilk more than Sparkles McSucksblood and his abstinent antics.

[WORLD Magazine]

REMINDER: Don’t see Twilight – it supports the Mormon church and its hate campaigns.  Check out Jacquie’s list of other, better, vampire movie options which can satisfy all your cinematic vampire needs.

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